Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
