Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
