she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
