we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
her facebook's as public as her vagina
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
