That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
