I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
