Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
