He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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