So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
