He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
My pussy is not your playground.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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