eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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