just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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