so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
