please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
third nipple confirmed
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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