Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Someone came in the potted fern
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
