ya dads aren't the best wingmen
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Dick very happy bro
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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