I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You may now shotgun with the bride
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
