So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
