I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
