I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
