Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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