Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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