it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
