If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
