I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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