no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He felt like a one man threesome
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
