Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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