I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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