she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
