worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
