why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
