Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
