talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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