Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Panties = found
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
