I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
no you cant smoke seaweed
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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