i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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