Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
