Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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