I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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