i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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