Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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