Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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