Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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