How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
