I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
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