its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
