if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
