okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm really busy with my period
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