John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
