At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
