plz talk dirty to me
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
