Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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