we have officially lost it.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just gargled with NyQuil
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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