oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
