If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I showed him my bush... on skype.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
