i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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