K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
where are my eyebrows?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
