This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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