Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
