I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize