He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
