Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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