you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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